I chose the title "Incognito Me" in imagining someone requesting to be costumed, and thought the "Me" part would charm the Ed. at Crochet me. Bootie-kisser I am, so long as it ends in fun. [Ed. note: I was charmed.]

The inspiration for the pattern came from the goodie bin at my son's pediatrician's office. He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum... no, wait... wrong story. He reached into the goodie bin and pulled out a flimsy set of Groucho Marx glasses. You know, those things with the plastic nose and moustache attached. I put them on and yelled at my son, "Hahhhh chachacha!" and then yelled, "AHA!", as I lightbulbed a crochet project from the experience. And people looked at me funny. And I thought, "Well, whatever. Look at me any way you want, but I get to make a super-dorky project, and y'all can't stop me." [Ed. note: I was also charmed by the use of "lightbulb" as a verb.]

• Lion Brand Jiffy - 1 skein of Black, 1 skein of Camel, plus 1 skein of any brand and color of eyelash yarn
• 10.0mm (size N) crochet hook for hat & nose
• 6.5mm (size K) crochet hook for brows & moustache

Gauge doesn't much matter, as the back of the hat can be adjusted with an added drawstring if necessary. The hat is large enough so that long hair can be stuffed up into it.

Mark the beginning of each round with a piece of scrap yarn or stitch marker.

Popcorn - 5 dc in st, drop lp from hook, insert hook in top of first dc of group, pull dropped lp through, ch 1.

I’m so happy to be in Montana where little sheep are running free and being chased by wolves.  No, really! Except instead of wolves it is more like coyotes or mountain lions. The yarn I’ve used for this skirt is certified ‘predator friendly’ meaning that the farm is run with respect for all living things, not just the cute ones. You can read more about it at www.lambandwool.com. It’s certified organic too! I hope you’ll try ordering from them or poke around for a local homespun in your neck of the woods.

I’ve had a bit of culture (and temperature) shock since leaving Japan and I was bemoaning the nippy winds that prevent me from wearing my summer skirt collection during winter.  Cozy yarn to the rescue!  This overskirt is like putting on a sweater, just lower down.  Of a rather chunky weight, it is quick to work up on big hooks and just a little bit delicate with a Kid Silk Haze trim and a nice bell shape.  You can wear it over skirts or pants, depending on how weird you want to look.  Either way, you’ll be warm.  Plus the rhythm of crochet might help you realize where you are and that it is okay (at least it does for me).

• Thirteen Mile Yarn (A) 2 skeins at ~110yds/skein. The color is a natural chocolate brown that comes straight off the sheep. This is a ‘chunky’ weight yarn usually used with size 11 knitting needles.
• 1 ball of Rowan’s Kid Silk Haze (B) in Villian (25g per 229yds). You could substitute another lightweight yarn easily, in either a tonal or contrast color. The gauge isn’t crucial for the trim.  
• Hook sizes F/5 (4mm), and L/11 (8mm), M (9mm), N (10mm), and P (11.5mm)
• ¾”- to 2”-wide ribbon or other belting material, long enough to go around your low waist and tie in a friendly bow. The picture shows a 3/4"-wide knit belt that is 56" long.

Pattern as written has a 36-inch dropped waist that stretches to 42 inches and can be tightened to 32 inches without looking odd.  You can add or remove a pattern repeat to change size 3 inches at a time (details included in pattern).

10 stitches = 4in, 10cm; 10 rows = 4in, 10cm in single crochet with yarn A and 8mm hook.

• The turning chain does not count as a stitch unless indicated.
• Be sure to read the pattern all the way through before beginning.

Waistband

With 8mm hook and thick yarn (A), chain 7.

Row 1: Sc in 2nd chain and in each chain across.  Ch 1and turn.

This was a one-day project for designer Kika. (Hint. It can be a one-day project for you, too.) She couldn't find a pattern for a triangle shawl that she liked, so she took matters into her own hands. Don't you want to take this matter into your own hands, too? Hook on.

• Two balls of Luxury Mohair by King Cole (202m/220yds, total), colour Valencia.
• A big fat plastic hook, size Q (16mm).

By varying the total length and yarn type, you can crochet this scarf for any season. You can make a short, summer scarf with fun, novelty yarn, or a long, warm, winter scarf with chunky, thick yarn. Three versions are pictured below, to demonstrate how varied the same pattern can turn out just by using a different yarn. Each of the scarves pictured was crocheted to wrap around the neck once and fall below the waist (see lengths indicated below). Yours can be any length you want.

Version 1

• Two 1.75 oz/110 yds (50 g/102 m) skeins Berroco Zen Colors (55% cotton, 45% nylon railroad ribbon), Color 8117 Tsunami Blue
• Two 25g/93 yds Skacel Gatto (100% nylon furry effect yarn), Color 39
• Crochet hook, size N (10.0 mm)
• Yarn needle to work in ends

Version 2

• One 6 oz (170 g) skein Red Heart Plush, Color 9782 Wine.
• Crochet hook, size L (8.0 mm).
• Yarn needle to work in ends.

Version 3

• Two 4.5 oz (127 g) skeins Red Heart Light & Lofty, Color 9617 Pheasant.
• Crochet hook, size N (10.0 mm).
• Yarn needle to work in ends.

Version 1: 76" (193 cm) long

Version 2: 78" (198 cm) long with 4" (10 cm) fringe

Version 3: 81" (203 cm) long

Version 1: Beginning Section = 4" wide x 5.5" long (10 cm x 14 cm)

Version 2: Beginning Section = 5" x 5" (13 cm x 13 cm).

Version 3: Beginning Section = 4" wide x 7" long (10 cm x 18 cm)

It is not necessary to work in your beginning and ending tails if you choose to apply fringe.
Just be sure to leave them long enough so they will be the same length as the fringe.

Note for beginners: When crocheting into a ch-1 sp, do not insert your hook into the chain stitch itself, but rather around the chain stitch (into the space beneath it).

Version 1 only:

1. Work entire scarf with two strands held together, one of each type of yarn.
2. It may not be possible to find these exact yarns in your area. Any ribbon yarn and sparsely furry yarn will achieve a similar effect.
3. To conserve expensive novelty yarn, you could repeat Row 4 throughout the body of the scarf for a completely openwork look, instead of the alternating windowpanes.

This scarf should crochet up in no time at all, to get you through these last days of winter (or the first days of Fall, depending on your hemisphere of residence). It can be any length you want!

• Two different colours (referred to as A and B) of Lion Brand Homespun Yarn, 1 skein each. (You could really use any kind of yarn, but I used Homespun and it's incredibly soft.)
• 1 pretty large hook (I used a P/10mm hook)

You can leave the "tails" from your colour changes dangling until the end, when you can easily and painlessly crochet over them with the border.

Make a really long chain out of Colour A. Mine was about 10 feet long.