Fear Not
I've written about fear before, most recently in my current editorial. Plainly put, I see no room for fear in crafting, yet I read about fear all the time. If you surf crafts sites, you'll undoubtedly encounter statements like, “Oh, I'd love to do that, but I'm afraid I'd mess it up.†Or even more veiled statements like, “I wish I could do stuff like that.†I think there might be two kinds of crafting fear: Fear of trying new things and/or trusting in our own ability, and fear of being ridiculed for our efforts.
On the one hand, the sky won't fall if you try something and it comes out badly. Or ugly. Or if it's hard. In fact, crafts might be the one area of our lives where we should feel free to take risks with little consequence. We won't get fired. People we love won't be hurt. Children won't suffer. This type of fear is senseless and baseless. I will fight it tooth and nail.
On the other hand, the internet adds another element to crafting: the subjection of our creations to public comment. Although I encourage everyone I meet to start a blog, I can understand their reluctance to open themselves up to public scrutiny. Though I think criticism is an important part of art, crafts, and creativity in general, I can't really blame crafters for wanting their hobbies to be free from the occasional meanness of others, even though an amazing abundance of support can be found online. I do think the risk is worth it. I do think developing a thick skin is worth it. But I won't fight against this type of fear.
I felt no fear about launching this site. All along, I've received both positive and negative comments about it, both of which have played a large part in its evolution and growth. I learned early on how to take an insult, and I learned early on that an irate reader is often just frustrated and the ease of email allows them to vent at me. I learned that replying politely usually results in a positive exchange and a resolution. I'm opinionated, but I try to be kind. I try to be kind because it's what I value, and it's what I desire from the people in my life. It's okay that people don't like aspects of or all of this site. I'm under no illusion that everyone should like everything; life would be boring if they did.
I'll bring up something I decided long ago to avoid writing about, simply because I don't want to answer any more questions about it: I am, and always have been, fully aware that there's a camp of crocheters out there who hate this site, or, possibly more accurately, who hate me (or my online persona). Why? I know the instigating reasons, but I can't fully grasp the rest. To be honest, I don't even try. It's not worth my time or energy. Recent comments left on this blog, however, have left me weary. I'm comfortable ignoring shit that's slung in other corners of the internet. But I ignore nothing that goes on on this site. Many, many people put time and energy into creating this site, and at the end of the day it's my playground to protect.
Since my work in this field is motivated by innovation and by connecting with people about creativity and empowerment, I'll fess up to an internal battle I've been fighting over what to do about the comments situation. Do I pull back from blogging so I can steer clear of the hate that makes me weary so I can focus on the legitimately good things in my work? Or do I fight back and tell it like it really is? Well, the battle has been won, and here's how the pieces fell:
Pulling back means I lose. Pulling back means I let the fear of repercussion choke my words. Pulling back means I go quietly into the night and let the voices that shout louder maintain the illusion that they're right. But, on the other side, fighting back is futile. No minds can be changed. No amount of reason exploited. So the middle ground wins my battle. I will not sling shit. I will not pull back. I'll just keep going as always.
I will not bring this up again. There's a fall issue to put together, and a winter issue to plan. There are exciting new projects in the wings.
From this point forward (beginning yesterday, really), comments will be moderated more heavily than in the past, and I might block individual commenters entirely. At my discretion. As I said, this blog is my playground, and my editorial commitment is to my readers, not anyone else's.
The end.
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About Kim Werker
About Me:
I'm the founder and creative director of CrochetMe.com. I'm also the editor of Interweave Crochet and the author of Crochet Me.
I love sushi, thunderstorms, mutts, good books, the smell of clean laundry, crocheting funny dolls and monsters, knitting, and spinning.
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Brava, Kim, brava.
I just had to delurk to compliment you on arriving at a dignified and intelligent solution. Well done indeed!
I fully agree that it's your playground to protect. However, what you did yesterday, in deleting comments that were in no way harmful to anyone, was plain rude, in my opinion. People asked for Josi's webpage address, and people gave that address. As the person responsible for Josi's publicity in regards to "Get Hooked", you have a responsibility to do right by her and help her site. By deleting all but one mention of someone asking for her webaddress, and then deleting people attempting to give the webaddress, you look unprofessional and juvenile.
I appreciate crochetme.com as a site. I've enjoyed the patterns very much since I found the site. However, I find that the way you handle things, by deleting unharmful comments and by coming off as intentionally harming Josi's business by refusing to post her webaddress, you are giving not only yourself, but crochetme.com a bad name. You constantly go on about the crafting community needing to come together, and I couldn't agree more. The crafting community should come together, and they should enjoy working together as a community. However, as you say that we should come together, you also find ways to exclude people, either through refusing to be professional and post a designer's webaddress, or by saying you're going to ban people from commenting. I could understand banning if someone were coming in and harassing you, but all I've seen in comments is people wanting to discuss and get you to explain what you write. Yes, some of it has been done with a harsh undertone, but that's part of doing business. You say you have a thick skin. Show it, please. I'd love to see proof.
I'm sure you'll see this comment as overly harsh and delete it, and I supposes that's your right as the runner of the blog. Nevermind that you've also stated many times that crafting should be an open discussion. Apparently, it's only open if you say so.
Please read my comment posted for "Net Neutrality". I posted it just before "Fear Not" appeared, and would have waited if I had known. It really belongs here.
Hi Mom - I linked to it in an earlier version of this post, but then revised it. Here's the link to your comment.
Thanks, Kim!
Kim, thank you for all the work you put into Crochet me and the thoughtful way that you go about it. Looking forward to the fall issue!
Another "Thank You" from over here. Kim, you are an inspiration and a role model for me (and I'm a year older than you--yea 31!). You can not imagine how much influence it has had on me to see someone being successful doing what they love to do. Your hard work, passion, and strength of character are much appreciated.
I agree with you Kim. Mainly, because this is your blog, you are free to write what you like and delete what you like. Maybe that's just an American perspecitive, since we beleive in our freedoms, and others in the world wide web don't have those freedoms. Its not their blog you are restricting, its yours.
But even more then that, you are protecting me and the designers by keeping the comments friendly and not harsh. You are right that we all here at CrochetMe work hard. We work for free because we love this craft so much we just want to share with everyone. Or at least that's how I feel. And you give me the opportunity to do just that, share my designs with others that I normally would never reach.
So I really appreciate your efforts to keep the negativity to a minimum and promote the joy. Thank you and keep up the good work.
You go girl! Crochetme may be a 'public service' but this here is your blog and you can moderate it as you wish, which I feel you do most reasonably. You are not alone in the blogosphere, I assure you.
I'm with you Kim. It's your blog and you have the right to delete, block, etc. whatever/whoever you choose. I love this site and truly appreciate all the work you and the designers put into it.
I agree - it's your baby, and you do what you want with it. I don't generally follow the comments, so I can't say anything about whatever is going on, but as far as I'm concerned you have every right to moderate your comments as heavily as you like. Look at it this way - if Crochet Me was a print magazine, you would pick and choose from letters to the editor (aka comments) to mostly sift out the mean and unproductive ones, but you would still print those that criticize well and clearly. Yes, I know it's not, and I know that the internet allows for production of a TON more content and interaction at a fraction of the price, but this is not a fly-by-night thing -- this is a well-thought out, quality publication that's online because it's faster and more affordable and can reach more people than a startup magazine.
Anyway, I would hate to see you stop blogging! Whenever I come across a discussion like this, it just reminds me that it's always best to hold off and stop and think before commenting if something has really got you riled up. That way you can say what you mean to say in a constructive way.
Rock on.
A note: To date, I have not deleted any comments on this post.
[Except on 8/5 I did.]
Good. I will keep stalking your blog, promoting Crochet Me and enjoying culture of creativity and consideration that keeps me coming back. You're doing great work. I feel inspired and supported here. I hope you do too.
Roe
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